So I suppose I should mark it in here, the log of my journey that life has taken a dramatic change. After months of communication woes, and consultation with my friends, I realized last week that my relationship with my Dragoness was still taking leaps of one step forward one step back and I was finding myself emotionally distraught whenever she was absent. Even with the valiant efforts she’s taken recently, implementing rules and trying to add more D/s to our relationship itself, it just wasn’t enough.
I’m not sure if this makes full sense, that I called it off. It’s fairly clear I love her like a fat kid loves cake. Seeing her smile lights up my world. She knows it, and I know it. But she saw it coming and was more worried about my feelings. Really, it was a kindness, in that she talked me through the breakup, once I got out that the distance doesn’t work for me with the way we communicate, and then began to cry. She showed me the care and heart that brought us together in the first place, making sure I was okay, and that we would stay close and asking again and again if I would be alright. It sure felt like I was being let down easy, not being the one initiating a breakup. She's a sweet beautiful woman, and If one day we find ourselves together again, in an in person situation, I’ll be quite glad to try again. Until then we will stay close.
It’s going to be hard, but I will continue on with my life. All weekend I’ve felt pained to know I’m alone. But I still keep trying to keep myself going. I see the new day start and realize there will be good in it. It’s not the first relationship that I’ve had to end, and it wont be the last. Time marches on.
I was wondering when I would hear what happened. I am saddened for you, you know how I felt about it though I'm sure. I believe that you deserve, like anyone else, to feel good about your relationship and to feel good about yourself. It's good to question your feelings and actions while you are in a relationship, but not every day and not feeling upset, guilty or anxiety about the way you feel or that what you feel is wrong. You are a wonderful man and submissive that will find what he is looking for because, well I don't have a sure reason why but that's life :P Just trust that I am right about you ;) You and I both know that give and take is huge in any relationship and if She comes around and can participate fully in that give and take I will be happy for you both.
ReplyDeleteLots of hugs coming your way and hopefully some real ones one day soon.
All my love
Naida xo