A few weeks ago the local kink association Sagacity held its annual conference and birthday celebration, the “Birthday Bash”. It was a lovely party in which many fun scenes took place, a lot of great educational workshops happened. It was a smashing success.
One thing really stood out from that weekend to me though, and it was a person I admire showing just how much they have grown, evolved and changed since I first met them.
To explain more thoroughly, almost two years ago when I moved to Victoria I met this friend amongst many of my newfound friends. She was an enthusiastic kinkster who was just enthused for play. By our conversations I identified so well with her innocent enthusiasm to being bound and beaten, dominated. She approached all sorts of sub/bottom/maso activities with the gusto of a star runner hitting the track. I was in some ways, a bit afraid for her, that in her enthusiasm to bottom for interested parties she might end up playing with an abuser or getting herself hurt. It was so endearing I took the time and got talking to her about stuff, and sent her every bit of literature I had that might be helpful. Little did I know when I thought of said plan she would have already been digging through what resources she had. She hit the ground running and used her head too. It was incredibly impressive. Over the course of the months I saw the eager fledgling young kinkster get further and further to the point where she was getting into very heavy very well done scenes and just impressing anyone that knew her with personality, attitude, and happy demeanour.
What we didn't realize was, this was a girl who dove into what she wanted to do, and learned, soaked in, and took up everything she could. A few months ago she told me she was thinking about starting to top too. I was impressed and figured it would go well for her, with her whole “can-do” attitude and approach. So it would appear over the past few months she soaked up knowledge, read things, practiced on pillows, and figured out all the silly things that tops and switches etc have to learn about being in charge and beating people and all those boring things I'm not quite sure why they have fun doing (but am so glad they do them).
And that brings us up to that fateful night at birthday bash, when I was witness to said persons first scene topping. Watching and a dear respected friend of mine kindly beat, hold down, and torment another gal who was in so much bliss she can barely remember 3 minutes of the lengthy scene. If I didn’t know better, I would have never known it was my friends first chance topping another person, and it was so natural and careful, it was easy to see her practice and study pay off. I was so proud to see this friend of mine achieve her goals, and take on the avenues and challenges she wanted to with full success. Not only that, later on she had fun on her traditional side of the coin by bottoming in a delightful scene. That determination to reach out and go for ones own chosen development, well it was inspiring!
Why would I consider this personal evolution? A person takes on skills, perfects them, and forges ahead on their chosen paths. Be you sub, switch, dom, or any variation or category, or even a vanilla person, you could learn from this example. I know I will, next time I see skills and explorations I want to enjoy, I'm going to dive in and take it with gusto, at least I hope. You should to.
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