The Unconscious Submission

I've blogged recently upon my sense of submission to my girlfriend being earned by her nature and that I feel inspired where she does not expect it. It was really neat because i consciously noticed myself giving her more priority and attention. I wanted to be giving her this submissive energy and respect as she showed me just how humble and caring she is through her actions.

As such we have bonded and grown closer. She's become an intimate part of my every day. And our passive communication and intimacy have borne ongoing trust building, and mutual respect. Its gotten to the point where I don't think about what were doing, that we've built unconscious reaction to one another when we’re spending time together.

In that time I’ve expanded on my domestic service aspects, and examined more subtle and passive formats of d/s. The less attention getting fetish activities, and ways to feel safely not in control, without putting pressure upon her to actively reciprocate. And yet, there's the rub. She has reciprocated, in dozens of ways that she never notices. When I have poor decision making abilities, she's there and steps in with a choice for me. When I'm having will power issues, she has a firm hand to direct me. And when I feel erratic she soothes with confident direction to breath. Her hand in mine, my head on her shoulder, It didn't even occur to me just how deep intimate connections could grow without sexuality.

I was describing her to a new friend tonight, and as I was sharing these words describing what a deep relationship I've found myself in with my dear sweetheart, I realized just how deeply my sense of connection with her has grown. And I was describing it out loud how safe that my partner makes me feel to be so vulnerable that I realized that even subconsciously, she motivates me to give her whatever she can have of me. And she in turn pulls me in. Even without her in the room, this piece of my heart grows and grows.

It is a beautiful feeling, realizing that my heart can fall upon its knees, without my even knowing it. I don’t think it’s ever taken me by surprise this way before. Everyone should be able to feel their heart give and take of its own accord at least once in life.