Thursday, March 20, 2014

You cant put the rabbit back in the hat... well you could but, you know, it's a hat



The last few years of my life I’ve been in a wonderful commuted romantic relationship with Chaos. We've had varied fortunes in life, but I've felt the benefit of having someone wonderful to weather the storm with. When we began the relationship I was confused and in unfamiliar territory; they did not identify with being anything other than kink friendly enough to accept me for who I am. I felt all the warm fuzzy feelings, and this handsome beauty was impossible to ignore.

As one could tell from some of the more personal blog posts in the past, power exchange bloomed, along with and sometimes due to internal and external discovery. Without putting traditional labels on it, we have grown and explored concepts that suit us, where life has allowed. In the last few years, rapidly a more vanilla dynamic grew into a consensual communicated dynamic between the Boss and their boy.

I've had friends in the community talk to me in the last few months, commenting on the subtle visibility of our power exchange dynamic. For example, a few have been referring to Boss as my owner without my prompting or suggestion. That was a surprise to me, but at the same time it always fit in context, and felt pretty cool to hear. I remember being so proud when I shared the bits of anecdote and watching Chaos chuckle and nod.

Somehow that didn't prepare me to hit a new level mindset I've found myself in since the end of January, for lack of a better word a sense of “my place”. An incredibly powerful and completely surprising experience new to our relationship occurred, and since then, it's as though in every day, and every way, I'm consciously aware that I belong to my Boss. That's not to say I doubted or didn't know already, but it wasn’t a conscious presence in my thoughts the way say, that I love them immensely has been for longer than I can remember. But now its right up in that same tier of thinking.

For the sake of clarity, when i say “my place” I mean my own personal experience and dynamic position at this point in time. That is not to glorify any sexist or dehumanizing concept cliches that often go along with similar phrasing.

And it was the oddest moment to spur this new sense in our relationship. Oddly enough, this all came about through the first time we had ever encountered a situation of physical punishment in our relationship. Despite my being quite experienced with the concept in previous or outside dynamics, for Chaos, like many dominant top type folks, discipline and punishment is not an emotionally easy thing to deliver, and previously had been things like meal restrictions. We had and have continued discussions on what we are both consenting to and what is alright in preparation for surprise events, and for that I'm grateful.

The experience itself was mind blowing. After a mutually tiring day dealing with real life drama, the Boss and I sat quietly in our bedroom. I, feeling exhausted, and running on autopilot was playful. I took an action that essentially “poked the bear” mistaking a very “no touch” body language, for an appropriate body language to be somewhat bratty. I literally had a playful stick that I reached out and poked them with. It was hilarious in a sitcom sort of way, the realization of “WHAT DID I JUST DO”. Tired, and with no patience for bullshit and somehow blessed with super-speed, Boss grabbed me, grabbed the stick, and with some sort of unrehearsed natural grace gave me a canning with a stern warning not to do that again.

As I mentioned before this action was something in a category of personal power exchange long since consented to in our relationship, but one we weren't sure would have ever happen. I'm seriously glad that it did. It gave us both a big boost in our verbal communication skills since, as well as a real comfort with the positions we relate to each other in. In the weeks since, we've been facing some rougher time as far as life circumstance goes, and Its a real gift to be able to communicate our way through these muddy waters. The bits of service in our relationship are more fluid now, and necessary for the sort of symbiotic dynamic that forms.



No comments:

Post a Comment