maybe I try too hard

I'm just about to go to bed, and I got thinking. I had talked to the Dragoness a little earlyer tonight. It was nice, via text only. Hadnt heard from her yesterday so I was starting to wonder how she was doing. But good news for me was shes fine, just had been busy busy and slept in. So no need to worry.
Just tried to call her but shes busy yet again. I at first feel a little ignored when this happens, but then I stop myself. My subconscious impulse doesnt look at logic. Logically shes busy, and she even told me what shed be up to tonight in terms of doing some interior painting. After a few miliseconds (between ring number 3 and the voicemail pickup), all that logic kicked in and I felt good just to hear the voicemail message and leave a nice goodnight.

Ive reminded myself a lot the last month or so that I try a bit too hard. I'm very eager to please her, as she inspires me, and I go to great lengths to show her things, share with her, and be a genuine submissive source of love care and respect. But its a distance relationship, and we both have very busy lives. And the relationship, though full of d/s feelings and bits of play, is primarily vanilla thus far. I'm her first sub, and its a steep learning curve. So i try to be extra informative and helpful about that sort of stuff. And this is her first distance relationship, so working out our communication boundries had been tough. But my emotional brain seems to often forget this and try too hard, in turn expecting too much from her. I realize it quickly most of the time, especially upon hearing her voice or getting a message from her.  I'm going to work on these things. Trying not to try quite so hard and expect so much, and reacting less emotionally negative to bad timing.

On the up side of things I was able to do some searching around for information for Mistress earlyer tonight when we did text. She said I did good, and will be providing me with all the petting and headscratching I can take. I'd say I deserve to feel a bit cheered at this prospect.

I wont be able to update for a little while, though this is only update 2. I'm going on a trip for the weekend to see some family and not taking my laptop. So i'll try again next week.