As a submissive being driven by power exchange I find myself strongly motivated by structure, limits, and expectations. That being said, when there are rules, regulations, and standing orders, its sort of freeing in a way.
Right now I can only think of two rules that Mistress has given me. 1. if i am to play with anyone without her present i'm not to engage in anything to the level of fluid exchange. (my recreational play is to be nonsexual). Its a very reasonable rule I'm happy to maintain. 2. I'm not allowed to take any cold medicines that she hasn't approved of because some make me very dizzy and it worries her.
I've been thinking though about things and theres just nothing in my day to day life to do or not to do by means of control. In my past experiences ive had rules and regulations for diet, masturbation, exercise, sleep schedule, regular contact/reporting, journaling, clothing, word choice, and on and on. Ive also had daily rituals to do, positions to be trained to I had to practice, and miscelanious other odd jobs that made me feel ever so useful. Rules and regulations are terrific because they give me a sense of place, and a purose in helping hopefully. I feel really lacking without anything binding like a standing order to push me. I think I'm going to try and come up with some suggestions that might anticipate Dragoness' needs or wants and be benefitial to her. I'm worried about stepping on her toes though. Last thing I'd want to do is top from the bottom, or give her too much pressure.
Things to think about.
I have also been worried about "topping from the bottom" since it has been a hot topic on the blogs I read this month.
ReplyDeleteThen someone wrote how it's not really topping from the bottom when you tell your top your needs and give suggestions. It is their choice whether to take the suggestions or not. As well the negative tone of that phrase implies manipulation so in a sense being devious with what you are doing to produce results you want.
Looking at it that way made me feel good. I agree with that and I don't have a worry about telling Master what I need to make our relationship work best :)