Remember These Things

This will be the first entry using my awesome new categories. Since I do a little bit of day to day and a little bit of deep thoughts I'm categorizing the general stuff anyone can find thought provoking as different than my own everyday living, or personal reflection stuff.  This is personal life reflection today.

 

I have been lucky with many good friends since I reached adulthood, that have stayed with me for the last 7 years through thick and thin. One particular friend I owe a lot to. She started out a bit of a little sister figure to me, needing advice and friendship. Over time she became a peer and even a great shoulder to lean on when I needed help and advice. Though sometimes thick and sometimes thin our contact might leave us evolving and changing separately or mutually. Lately this friend and I rarely connect or even communicate very often, I cannot remember the last time we had a decent private conversation, but regardless she will always be a person in high esteem to me. Ever had a friend like that, who earned your respect and admiration time and time again that your loyalty is there henceforth? One of the nicest sweetest things she ever did, was write me a little note. After a particularly heartbreaking breakup, I was short on pride and clueless as to what was going wrong with me. I was also at a stage of social ineptness born of being clueless as how to behave in social casual kink circles. She saw this and decided to give me some much needed advice. She wrote it all up on a note that I keep with me to this day, and when I’m having a particularly bad day I read it.

It is double sided, and taped together in the middle with electrical tape as it was two small notes put together. (She’s eclectic that way.);

 

 

Remember These Things

Focus On The Big Picture

Get an overall sense of the situation, details are only good for confusion. If you have an overall formula that works for most things, you won’t have so many problems to solve.

For when you’re socially stressed and don’t know what to do about problems.

KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid)

People love the subtly awesome person. People are truly awesome when they don’t even realize it. Be self sufficient and people will relax around you, and respect you because they wont feel like they need to take care of you. Subtlety is an art form of social situations. It’s like knowing how to do oral, it just makes sex better.

Let other people do the work, you don’t need to entertain everyone. They should entertain you.

Nitty Gritty Stuff

• you want to be satisfied with your self
• the more satisfied with your self you are the less narcissistic you will be
• the less narcissistic you are the more you can exist positively for other people
• the more positive you are in other peoples minds the more satisfied you will be with your self.
• it takes time but just keep gathering bits of confidence

 

I know this might all seem obvious but it’s important to ingrain it in your head like a math equation. So that when you can’t see the forest for the trees you’ll be able to trigger that equation and get out by your self

SO READ THIS EVERY DAY!!!

(ish)

You know, like your mantra or whatever… I think it would help

Love, ______

 

PS I hope this HELPS, It’s what would work well for me.

Keep it up man. I’m proud of you!

The apple don’t fall far…

 

So who else has family members involved in kink? Who else has had, or does have a heck of a time dealing with that fact and communication with the family member in question on that subject? Many have issues with this. I know I did, as someone very dear to me in my vanilla family turned out to be also kinky.

I know many others in this same boat, be it parent, child, sibling, etc. In my case it was a parent, and a matter of realizing they were into the same world I was when I was having trouble accepting myself for it.

Now I’ve heard many variations of this story, but what I understand it’s common for one to have a lot of confusing reactions when faced with the normalcy of being “different”.

I had a dramatic and unusual reaction, denial, and rejection. My parent tried to talk to me about things, as some of my interests were noticeable. I was animated, upset, and above all denied the whole thing. I even made some comments to refer to them as being abnormal and different for what they were implying.

A few years later I finally had the courage to accept myself, and to talk to them about who I was, and accepting who they were.

Since then we have had some amazing conversations about the lifestyle and even talked about important subjects. It is amazing to have that support.

This last weekend they came to visit, and I was able to introduce them to my friends in the community at a dinner. It was actually rather fascinating to see how they interacted with others of multiple age categories in the lifestyle. And in point of fact it was hilarious for me to see that my kinky parent has the same kink-radar I do and picked out who was dom, sub, switch,  or other in the room just by observation. They only had one wrong. Hilarious how life works out.